For much of my life, I carried the quiet weight of being the “black sheep.”
Not the rebel in a charming way, but the one who always felt just a little off-beat — never quite measuring up academically or behaviorally, often unsure of where I belonged. I learned early to hide my struggles behind an “I’m fine” mask, even when I was far from fine. I avoided drawing attention to myself, kept my thoughts guarded, and feared being wrong in conversations.
That mask worked… until it didn’t.
When you live in survival mode long enough, something inside eventually cracks. For me, that crack was the beginning of something I didn’t recognize at the time: my healing.
The Turning Point — Building My Bubble
The shift didn’t happen all at once. It began with tiny acts of defiance — not against people, but against the version of myself that constantly sought approval.
I started spending more time alone, not out of loneliness but out of self-preservation. I tuned out the constant noise of the world, even when it made me feel guilty for not staying “informed” or “engaged” with everything going on.
Slowly, I reframed my solitude. It wasn’t avoidance; it was protection.
I was learning how to create a bubble — not as a wall to keep life out, but as a sanctuary where I could actually breathe.
Integration — Settled in Self
This is where I am now: grounded, in control, and unapologetically at peace with who I am.
I can look back at my choices — even the ones that were messy — and feel gratitude, because they all led me here. I no longer feel the need to explain or defend my joy, and I’ve stopped letting the world’s chaos dictate my inner weather.
I’ve realized something that used to sound selfish but now feels deeply true:
What are we here for if not to bring joy and peace to our own beings first?
From that place, I am ready to share the love I’ve been giving myself — but in ways that lift me up instead of draining me. Life doesn’t feel like a maze anymore. It feels like a game, and I’m not just watching from the sidelines; I’m an active player.
The Horizon — Expanding Without Losing Myself
Looking ahead, I don’t see myself “coming out” of my bubble — I see my bubble growing.
I’ll continue to choose my connections carefully, to give in ways that keep me nourished, and to let my presence speak louder than my effort. I know challenges will come, but I no longer see them as traps; they’re just part of the game.
My healing journey could be summed up in four symbols:
🐑 The Black Sheep — the misunderstood outsider.
🛡️ The Bubble Shield — the sanctuary I built for myself.
🌿 Open Hands — the readiness to give and receive from a place of balance.
🌞 Radiant Sun — the expansion of joy that touches others without dimming my light.
I’ve moved from hiding my true self, to mastering the art of living as my true self, to learning how to let that truth ripple outward.
This is my arc. This is my joy. And I intend to play this game well.
